January 25, 2010

Art Therapy

I’ve been going through an interesting time in my life lately. Up until recently, I’d never really been hurt. Yeah, I’ve gone through difficult things, but it was never anything where I felt like someone actually deeply wounded me personally.

But now I’ve felt that. And I’ve been having a really hard time dealing with it.

I guess when you grow up with such an amazing family and solid support system, when someone really hurts you for the first time, it is really hard to deal with.

I didn’t know how to process things. I just kept dwelling on things and never really dealing with them.

Tonight I decided to do a little “Art Therapy” on myself. I have always loved creating things, especially with old magazine clippings. But I had never really used it as an exercise to really get into what I was really feeling.

I’m not saying at all that I’m anywhere near done being completely healed. And I know I still have a lot to work on. But it really did help. I was able to process feelings that I didn’t even realize I had. And I was able to take out some anger on the person who hurt me, without actually hurting him back.

While it was definitely good to feel that release, it wasn’t completely easy. I cried through the whole thing. I’m sure if someone had come in my room they wouldn’t have known what to do with what they would have seen. I was sitting in the middle of the floor, with magazines, glue, feathers, rhinestones, scissors, crayons, and oil pastels completely surrounding me...with tears streaming down my face.

But the outcome was quite pretty. I would love to share what I created with you all, but I will refrain from doing so to protect those mentioned in my art. It’s just for me anyways :)

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