On [the first 20 minutes of last week's] The Bachelorette.

Watching the Bachelorette as a married person is COMPLETELY different than watching this show as a single person. Here is a recap of the first 20 minutes of Week 4 of Desiree's season. Why only the first 20 minutes, you ask? Because, I do what I want!

First, Chris Harrison decides he needs to match the walls of the Bachelor mansion. Then he tells the guys they are leaving...probably because he went shopping and they need to repaint the walls.

If Des can handle 25 guys, she can handle a few more too. She considers picking up some cops in Atlantic City.

Is someone feeding her these terrible puns that aren't even said at comedic moments? "Dig" when they're by a sand castle! "Light the darkness" when they're in a lighthouse? Oh my word!

I have zero comments about the Mr. America Pageant they put on, but I definitely will be integrating this phrase into my regular vocabulary.

It also perfectly summarizes what is happening with the Bachelor franchise these days. However, that is exactly what brings viewers back week after week.