May 20, 2013

On [a newlywed's observations of how we talk about] Marriage.

That would be me trying to not cry during my vows.
I have identified three stages of general reactions people have to an impending marriage during the engagment period.

1. Initial excitement: Right when you get engaged, people congratulate you. They give high fives and tell you how excited they are for you. This is when they say, "I knew it was meant-to-be."

2. Warnings and doom: After the excitement wears off, well-meaning folks start sharing their own marriage horror stories. This is when they tell you that their husband changed on the honeymoon. Everyone seems to feel it is their duty to remind you that marriage is hard work, as if you weren't aware of the divorce rate of our parent's generation. This is when the barista at the coffee shop looks you straight in the eye and says, "Don't do it."

3. Resolve and well-wishes: Once people realize you are going to go through with the wedding, they give you positive well-wishes hoping you'll beat the odds. "Marriage is actually great," they say with a pat on the back. "We believe in you," seeps from their pursed lips. This is when they say, "Maybe it won't turn out for you the way it did for me."


Then you get married and the reactions are all the same:

YOU GOT MARRIED!!! HOW EXCITING!!!! MARRIAGE IS THE BEST THING EVERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU LOVING BEING MARRIED?!??! ISN'T IT SO ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL?!??!



I've only been married a week and two days, so of course it's not horrible and hard yet, but can we please be consistent when we talk about marriage? Can we recognize that it is hard, while still acknowledging that it is awesome and fun? Maybe we can learn from each other's experiences, without comparing and keeping score.


5 comments:

  1. Ever choice you make affects your future. Choose wisely & you can greatly profit. Choose poorly & you can quickly fall. The choice is yours!

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  2. Sister, I love this photo! :) Im excited to see more!!

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    Replies
    1. Me too! This was just a photo I was tagged in on Facebook. I want to see the ones of me falling down during square dancing!

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