On [finding value in] the Princess Analogies.

My brother and I at Disneyland, circa 1991.
I look terrified and, according to my roommate, exactly like my mom.

Before I was born, my parents decided to name me Kelly: a name that, according to their baby name book, meant “brave warrior.” 

As a child, my heroes were girls from books like "Harriet the Spy" and Meg from "A Wrinkle in Time," ladies from history like Joan of Arc, and women in real life like Mother Teresa, rather than the princesses of Disney like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. (Although, I must admit, I did love Snow White. Not for her Prince Charming, but for the woodland adventure and abundance of animals.)

At present, I’ve found myself in what I would call a “God’s Princess Bible Study.” Although the leaders of the group don’t intend for us to think of Jesus as our boyfriend, and ourselves as helpless maidens, I can’t help but be leery of princess metaphors when it comes to my relationship with God.

My favorite Bible character is Jael, the one who drove the tent peg through Sisera’s head. I want to do mighty things for God, not wait around for him (and the men in my life) to come and rescue me from my poor, sad life. 

I’m not a damsel in distress; I’m a powerful woman of God. 

I don’t want to dwell on issues of body image and identity, when there are people who need to be loved, and I have the Jesus who will be faithful to meet them where they’re at. There are women in the world who would never even dream of thinking of themselves as a princess, and would honestly be shocked that the God of the universe would give women the time of day.

At the same time, I’m convicted of the cynicism in my heart. I know deep down that there is value in discovering your identity in Christ. I recognize that it is imperative for all Christians to anchor their hope solely in the resurrection of Jesus. I'm not even against "women's events." I can enjoy the occasional tea party, but I’m worried that we’re missing the point.

We are limiting ourselves when we think that the only thing women have to offer the body of Christ is children’s ministry and fashion shows; when the only topics we dare to speak about are bulimia* and dating; when we spend more time teaching our teenage girls about what to look for in their future “prince,” than how to have a conversation with the Prince of Peace.

I’m trying to be honest with myself, and my small group, about struggling with the princess analogies in the bible study curriculum. I’m trying to be open-minded as I go into this study, realizing that I can definitely learn things during the next 10 weeks with these girls. But the biggest thing I’m slowly learning is that it's not all about me, and maybe my role isn’t to “get something out of” this study, but to be there to support my sisters; to walk beside, and with, and hold their hand, and wipe their tears, as other women before have done for me; to be a fellow traveler on their journey of finding what it means to follow Jesus.



*note: I have no desire to deny the gravity and seriousness of eating disorders. This is not intended to downplay that issue in any way, or to take away from the personal experiences that people have gone through. I fully support professional counseling and being supportive of your friends and family members who are dealing with these serious matters.